Dora Says I Am Going To Buy Tombstone

Dear Readers,

I am going to buy Tombstone, Arizona. Why not? I can afford to buy almost anything I want. My father, Wintrhop Benley, will provide the cash. He is a tire magnate back East in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Not that Tombstone is my favorite kind of place, mind you. I want to buy it because it is not.

If I own the city, then I can tear down all the honky-tonk, western bric-a-brac. I will build decent houses and not saloons, gambling halls, and whore houses. The O.K. Corral must go. So must the Crystal Palace Saloon, and I think we can find a more proper name for Toughnut Street. We don't want to name it after a silver mine.

Maybe I will rename the Longhorn Restaurant the Lusitania. It will at least be reminiscent of something far more grand. And the boarding house will become the Lawrence Hotel, named after Lawrence of Arabia. Again it  will be far grander than anything the town can conceive.

Sincerely yours,

Dora Benley
P.S. I never thought to buy Tombstone when I was writing volume one of my memoirs, King Abdullah's Tomb.